wish i had some more green paper...

Sitting in a smoke filled internet cafe in St. Nikolas, Greece. Was supposed to take 9am ferry but windy weather conditions = canceled fast boat. So took a 1 1/2 hour bus here and gonna catch a 5 hour ferry to Santorini(instead of the 2 hour one :P. Being in Greece-where everyone is super dressed up-ALL THE TIME has had me wishing for my 'cute clothes; or at least the $ to buy new ones but unfortunately that is not part of my budget-which is already way overspent.
So I am online filling out scholarship applications for FAll semester and just getting generally frustrated with the reality that although I may have intelligence, perseverance, world knowledge, jah jah jah, I am desperately lacking in the resource of green paper. it is so frustrating that I spend all semester, a slave to my books , with little semblance of a social life and althouigh I have managed to maintain my 3.7-while balancing work, school, and the tragedies of last semester, none of that seems to matter much if I cant afford my high price-tagged Ivy league education. Guess Im just tired and bitter. But its all perspective right? I am incredibly blessed and I have faith-for now, we will see how I feel when my Financial aid letter comes- that all will work out as it should.
up till today, the weather was beautiful here in Greece but it is currently matching my mood-gloomy and overcast. But moods and weather forecasts have the ability to change quickly so Im praying for some sunshine :)
Love & miss you all!

Realized its been over 2 weeks since i last updated this blog, due to a variety of reasons but when i write in my journal daily and correspond via email to those that write, i wonder why i do not put more energy into this site. The most honest answer would have to be FEAR. Fear of being misunderstood, of offending those I mention on this blog and those i do not, fear of such an expanded general audience-how truthful and honest should i be about my experinces? most being very personal, guess i just have a general fear of being known completely. Came to the recent realization that my whole life, I have told alot to everyone but not all to anyone. And again a fear of what others will do with information they have about me. Guess I have become comfortable with being ellusive or as my Switzerland friends call me-Casper(yes, like the ghost). Another fitting title as i've been told that peolpe like having me around but I just dont seem to bew so on a consistant basis. So in case, you havn't noticed-doing a lot of self-reflection on this trip. And I have realized how selfish it is of me to not share with you about my trip, i dont have to tell all but at least keep you up-to-date. For afyter all, it is you-my friends and family, those I have met on my journey and those I've yet to meet- that have made this trip possible and worthwhile. For i have always said that despite my wonderful education :), 90% of insights gained have been from the life experiences i have had and people i have met. I am so greatful for my life and the amazing peolpe i have in my life and the ones i am meeting along the way.
Spent Sunday March 30th,in Chandigarh, Punjab-beautiful & wonderful, not at all the crazy hectic India i have experienced(yet still loved) thus far. the day was spent relaxing in the Rose Garden, walking around the very creatively designed Rock Garden and enjoying cycle rickshaw drives through the quiet-no loud traffic, pollution, cattle, etc- tree lined streets as the sun shone on my face. Felt like Anne of Avonlea or a princess being escorted around town. Then late night(starting at 12:30am) was an extremely bumpy 8 hour bus ride up the mountain where the uneven terrain actually lifted me a few feet off my seat-odd though i actually enjoyed it or enjoyed myself in spite of it, either way was worth it as early Monday morning i arrived in Mcloud Gonj in the Himilayas. The views here are breathtaking-my room(although rather noisy and thin walled) faces the mountain. Slept till 12:30 so got a late start but Sunday and up till now have been my best days in India thus far. I cannot even begin to explain the amount of spirituality and healing that is in this place; on the other hand, dont know that i have been in one single place and experienced the level of negative dark energy that is also present here. Its such an odd dichotomy that has nade it difficult to breathe at times and created so much anxiety. Spoke to many individuals-from a female traveler who was drugged here in a local restaraunt in broad daylight in January, to my yoga & reiki teacher, to the countless reports of kidnappings, murders and dissapearnaces that occur here regularly( mostly drug related).Also, as this is the home of the exiled dala lama, it is reported in today's newspaper that an increase in security has been assigned due to an evergrowing # of threats have come against him recently. Odd cause every city I have been in, starting with Malaysia has had a bombing, masss shooting or both on the day i was in that city but yet i still feel very safe and protected but nonetheless, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. My eyes have opened up to so much and i am so blessed to be on this journey!
It is Tuesday night now and I am sad that I spent such little time here-it is always in retrospect- but would really like to come back next May and spend a few months here doing yoga, trekking, attending lectures and volunteering. Had such a wonderful experience here today. After my Reiki class I walked 3km uphill to the Zilnon Kagyeling Nyingma Monastery to attend a lecture by the book author and the Dalai Lama. By the time i got there was 30 minutes late and struggled with being in a small cramped dark room while the sun was shining so brightly and surrrounded by such amazing scenery. decided to opt out on the class and just sit on a bench and read. Was there for less than 3 minutes when my instincts(which have incredibly strengthened on this trip) told me to head downstairs to the larger rooftop. Sat on a makeshift bench of unsanded plywood and no back, just a metal frame. Sat on this bench reading my much anticipated book when a friendly monk appeared and started chatting with me in extremely limited English. After a few minutes I returned to my book and he left. Ten minutes later, this monk, Gyatso, sat down next to me with a writing pad and an English/Tibetan/Sanskrit phrasebook. He asked me to pronounce the first sentence- I did so slowly, word-for- word, "Can you please tell me how to get to the nearest hotel?" I have to say his pronunciation was not bad. He then asked me to say the next line. This went on for 2 1/2 hours!! During this time we were joined by a small older Tibetan woman with very long silvery hair that she combed the whole time while repeating some of the English words, "pillowcase", "bedsheet" and asked me to teach her all the English words for her body parts, then there was the monk who just sat and laughed with us and every once in a while tried his hand at pronouncing a random English word, then a monk who spoke English more fluently than the others came to me with a specific list of words he had written out. While I sat in the sun breaking down English words syllably by syllable and patiently waiting for them to pronounce the words correctly, not at all upset that I was able to read my book I had intended on, I was becoming increasingly greatful that I was able to help these people who had a genuine interest and are actually incredibly quick learners. It was amazing to me Gyatsos ability to recall a whole sentence in a foreign language that he had just learned a few minutes prior, And as he struggled with a few words, like the 4 syllabled "expensive" and then finally mastered it, his triumph bcame my own. It was an incredibly rewarding afternoon and i realize that God had completely answered my daily prayer to the universe to allow me to make a difference and use my gifts to benefit others. Just upset i have to leave tommorow but really looking forward to Greece and my backpacking budddy meeting me there :)
Love & miss ya all

INDIA: You can LOVE it or HATE it, But you can't IGNORE IT

Quick report that i am safe in Varanass,India. I have been blessed with encountering very kind helpful souls that are making me feel more at ease in a country that can have one on sensory overload. So amazing here-despite the horrible pollution, traffic, poverty and general craziness and disorder. Despite all my apprehensions (and those of others) traveling alone is proving to be such a gift. It leaves you more vulnerable but also that much more open to the reward of the journey.

My Crazy German adventure in the Outback

First, I want to apologize for my blogging delay but blame it on a myriad of factors-expense of internet use in Australia, time to download pics, limited use in Malaysia, my horribly slow hunt-n-peck typing "skills" and finally--my perfectionism as I always want to write the perfect, most insightful blog...

Ok, since we last met, I have left New Zealand and zoomed off to Sydney Australia. (oops.... apparently I showed up to the airport a DAY LATE-such a Carolina move but fortunately it was only a $100 mistake.) Suprised by how much I LOVED Sydney!! I feel like it has it all. This place reminds me of California for the beach and chill lifestyle, NY for the city (minus all the crime and dirtiness but PLUS BATS and WATER RATS...eeeekkk). The best part-- the wonderful cosmopolitan city of Sydney is only a 2 hour drive away to the mountains.

I am a mountain baby so decided to take the train for a day getaway to my terrain of origin, in Australia it is the Blue Mountains. Once there I  met a CRAZY Crocodile Dundee like German guy who offered to take me abseiling (propelling down a waterfall). He assured me it was perfectly safe....
perhaps for other people.

 I accepted this adventure  (yes, he was a complete stranger but he reminded me of my oldest brother Johnny AND I have learned to trust my instincts). Unfortunately, I failed to realize that in order to get to and down the waterfall, I had to first go THROUGH it.

It was honestly one of the scariest thing i've EVER done; this coming from a skydiving, rockclimbing, bungee-jumping, bridge & cliff-jumping adrenaline junkie.
Jumping off of rocks into dark, murky, freezing water, it's amazing the thoughts that can pop into one's head at a time like this....

But I made it. Sometimes the only way through the fear is through it.

 The water was Antarctica glacier freezing but I knew that my brothers--fans of repelling off of rocks-- would be so proud. I blame much of my adventure girl spirit on them. Growing up with four brothers I learned that if i wanted to hang out I had to get a little dirty and be fearless (or pretend to be).

After surviving climbing through the dark frigid waters and propelling down the rocks of the waterfall while the water hit me from every angle. I made it to a boulder where one of the guys took my harness off. As my sneakers were not made for these kind of travels, the lack of traction on wet slippery rock had me slipping quickly. I was grabbed and safed by another absailer, less than 2 feet away from falling down the rocks to the bottom another 20+ meters away.

My crazy new friend said that nothing scares him but that seeing me almost fall to my death (or at least a hospilization) really did. But it wouldnt be my story w/out a fall down some rocks, a near-death experience or two and some major war wounds ;)

This actual episode lasted less than an hour but the memories will forever remain and become a pat of me.

Then from mountain madness to Malaysia madness. The people are so incredibly friendly here! My jaded western mentality kept looking for the angle, waiting to get screwed-over but that was never the case for me. Writing this email from the home of a friend from Columbia's aunt & uncle who have been the most wonderful, giving hospitable people-to me-A COMPLETE STRANGER. I have so much gratitude!!! Also makes me realize that I already know so many people like this and have been blessed with such wonderful friends and family!!! Also, Malaysia reminds me so much of Mexico-minus all the street signs in Arabic and the delicacy of Monkey Brains--gruesome details later....

Fly to Delhi, Ieeeeeendia 2nt. Getting scurrrrred-so nervous & anxiety filled.

If you are reading this now & believe in prayers, or even if you don't, please say a few, or more, for me as I will be in India for the next 3 weeks-ALONE.

More later. Miss my friends and family but so grateful for the people I am meeting, connections I'm making, new experiences & insights on this journey. Also, would LOVE emails-as boring or mundane as they may seem to you, nice to remain connected to my friends and fam.
Later, C

Queenstown, New Zealand: VIEW FROM THE TOP

I think yesterday was the dark before the light. Last night was a crying day for me (see post) but woke up early this morning and went on the 8 hour Ben Lomond hike to the top of the summit here in Queenstown w/my Finlandian friend Teemu. The view was amazing and the very steep climb was gratifying. I highly reccomend this trek!

Homesick

So, yesterday, Wed Feb 28 got into Queenstown from Wanaka. Went bungy jumping from the 3rd highest bungy in the world, 134 meters. Loved it so much i went twice. My ripcord didn't pull like it was supposed to(both times!) and was upside down the whole time. Believe this is what caused me to make the crazy decision to go again(details and photos later). Was exhausted but went out with the whole Kiwi Explorer(bus) crew. Won an hour of free drinks(Ha, the one person who actually wasn't drinking) but made me very popular for at least an hour. Other than that, the atmosphere is a little like high school-ya know gossip, cliques blah blah blah blah but managed to make some friends. Unfortunately today we all dispersed and went our separate ways leaving me feeling a little sad, alone, emotional and homesick. Also, keep seeing reminders of my brother Pedro- horses, a horrible car accident(twice) and today as I was walking through the park alone tonight, they were playing bagpipes-which were played at his funeral. Very bittersweet because while these occurrences have served to remind me of the loss of my little brother, they have also solidified my belief that i am not alone and although maybe not in physical form, my brother's spirit is still very much here. His loss was one of the major reasons i decided to go on this trip. It was a reminder that life is short and you never know what tomorrow, or today, will bring and it us up to me to live it with love, kindness and passion and to follow my dreams despite any fear(s) i may have. I have always had a love of traveling, learning, growing and experiencing new cultures and people. I am blessed that i am able to do so. I will allow myself to be sad right now as i miss my friends and family but also accept that this too shall pass and I am not alone. Miss and love you all

Illegalized, rocked, sailed, sweetened and swindled

Arrived in Auckland around 11am on Wed Feb. 21, after a 16hour flight. Needless to say, this left me emotional, exhausted and hungry=GRUMPY(Muresch in German). At customs I am informed I must visit the Australian Consulate to obtain my visa(apparently it is not as Mexican Passport friendly as it is to ya'all Americans).
Looooooooong day. Find out Evanescence are playing at the St. James(oldest theatre in Auckland). Bought tickets and because I was a single, had a really great seat in the center front. Got caught taking pictures and security took my battery-after a 5minute "discussion". Have to say though, much nicer than they would have been in the U.S. as it was returned to me as soon as the concert was over.
Thurssday am woke up early to obtain my Australian visa. 90 kiwi dollars later(approx. $60 US) and 2 hours later was officially deemed legal-at least in Australia. Met with Penny Lancaster a friend of a friend who owns a sailing school in Auckland. Wonderful woman. Seems fitting that it was with her in the "City of Sails" that I tried mussels for the first time-loved them! After we headed to the Harbor where i saw her boat and took pics at the harbour. Next I headed to Valentino's for a purchase-nope not the clothing store, not quite in my budget. Valentino's Gelato that is, where I had the local Hoky Poky and kiwi flavours. Yummmm :)
Purchased my ticket to Christ Church with flight center where they assured me that all agents were on the same system and sold tickets at the same price. Of course, after i purcahsed my ticket and checked ut STA's prices, found out I could have payed $30 less-still learning. Found out STA did half the things wrong on my trip planning-no confirmation numbers, wrong flight numbers, incorrect paperwork, overpricing, etc. etc. etc. Leaving me tired and more frustrated. Flew to Christ Church and just managed to snag the very last hostel bed.

Saturday Feb. 24(i think??)
On a kiwi explorer tour bus through the South Island. New Zealand is amazingly beautiful!!!! The only American in a group of 70+ but there are loads of single women travelers. Lots of travelers from Germany, Londan and the Norwegian countries. Had a beach themed party. Cant wait to post the pics and video clips from that. Let's just say the last time I saw that many half naked people was at the Playboy Mansion.
Going on a 6hour hike thorugh the Glaciers at Franz Josef tom.
Later.