My un-Holiday holiday

Funny when people comment to me that they are jealous that I am on a 4-month "vacation"( or Holiday for all those UK-English speaking individuals). "Oh, is that what this is???" I often ask myself. Because prior to this trip,my idea of a "vaca" consisted of: relaxing, no worries or alarm clocks, waking up in my 1000 thread count sheet bed & goosedown comforter, rolling over & calling room service to bring me up my morning coffee and strawberry covered pancakes. That in no way resembles this trip. I often feels like this excursion is work. I am not allowed to ever completely enjoy one spot because I am always planning the next. I must always research: cities, countries, plane & train tickets, acomodations, visa entry requirements.....the list goes on and on. Uggghhh, it all makes me feel like I need a vacation! ;) To add to the to-do list I must also deal with all my "at-home" stuff--bills to be paid, classes to register for, taxes to file, scholarships to apply for. I often feel exhausted and overwhelmed merely THINKING about it! Guess that is just life , right? Work, work, work. It's not that I am by any means afraid of hard work--I am a Capricorn after all, but sometimes I just want a little break.
Ok, now all you at home reading this may be thinking, "What IS she talking about??? A BREAK? from WHAT?!? But, I guess this is the part in my trip where I am feeling a little exhausted and homesick. It is cold and windy in Santorini today. You know, one of those, I just want to "stay at home, wallow in self-pity, eat icecream & watch a movie" kind of days. Only I am in Greece and can not afford to eat more or my clothes will no longer fit and shopping for new ones is not in my budget, and forget movies-at least not during the daytime. Perhaps I could catch a late film but that would require me to take a bus all the way to the next town which only comes every hour and no one seems to know where exactly to find the movie times or schedule....
Honestly, I think I am just tired. Tired of my clothes, of living out of a suitcase, of missing my friends and family, of feeling helpless(particularly in India amongst such poverty), of not understanding or being understood....
Ok, I will end my one-person pity party. Thanks for allowing it. I will try to not throw another one too soon.....
Love and miss all you all so much :(
Se agapo para Poli

http://www.santorini.net/

Malaysian Waterfalls

Was in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia where pre-trip the responsible adults in my life expressed their concern of me getting sold into the Malaysian sex-slave system to which the lovely Giulia replied, "If that occurs, at least you will be good for the economy," expressing her faith that I would go for a decent price. Well, that did not occur but had a few interesting experiences:

Arrived in Malaysia from Sydney, Australia late at night. Was planning on staying with a friend from school, Amrit's, family. Miscommunication as to dates occurred & I arrive at the airport with no accommodation but a mirage of taxi drivers & hotel owners offering to "help me out." Tired and overwhelmed, I head to the Internet cafe where I spot 2 other backpackers. For the record, Linus & Johan, could not NOT be spotted here in this Malaysian airport- About 6'2 each, tall, blond & very tan. At the endearing age of only 19, they would become known as my "Swedish Babies." So, we find a hostel that appeared decent online and take the train to town then get in a "specially priced for tourists taxi"(= about 5x the amount that we should have actually paid- I later showed my Swedes that that is what meters were for) and head to our hostel. Well, they called it a "hostel", I do believe 'crack house' could have been a more appropriate term. It was scurry and I was grateful at least i was not alone. One of the other women who was in our room was from England and appeared as if she had been smoking, partying and traveling for at least a few decades. With her incredibly raspy voice she informed me that India was sh*t. This, right after she warned us that she had been the victim of a drive-by robbery-where a man on a motorcycle wizzes by and snaps up your purse. Her backpack straps were actually cut off while she had it strapped onto her chest. We would later learn this a quite regular occurrence and left me terrified of motorcyclists(there are a lot of them) for the entirety of my Malaysia trip.

 Yes, so this was my Kuala Lumpur welcoming party. Whether it was that news, the insanely muggy heat or the gigantic roaches I saw scurrying across the bathroom floor, let's just say it wasn't exactly my most restful night of sleep.

First thing the next day we left our Malaysian hell-hole and headed off to the MUCH nicer Haven Guesthouse run by the very helpful and welcoming owner, Evan. Malaysia was incredibly muggy-the "walk outside for a second and you sweat" kinda heat. For me there were many similarities between Mexico and Malaysia, minus all the writing in Arabic and the Malay women entirely covered, head to toe, in their black garb with barely their eyes poking out to see. Most of the time in Kuala Lumpur was spent walking through the countless shopping malls and outdoor markets in China Town.
Wanting a reprieve from the overwhelming heat and craziness of the city, headed 2 hours out of town to visit the peaceful Buddhist monastery and the waterfalls.

Again, seemed to forget from my Blue Mountain adventure that before one can see the waterfall, you must first get to it. For this trip that involved walking through bug filled jungle and wading through no less than three rivers, one of which I slipped and fell on rocks. But it wouldn't be a "Carolina trip" without me doing exactly just that-tripping and falling (my friends and agent, noticing my inherent clumsiness, have often wondered how I have managed to survive as a model- I often wonder the same thing). But the waterfall was beautiful & was such a nice reprieve from all the smog, heat & traffic of the city.

On my 3rd day there I finally met up with my friend Amrit's aunt & uncle. The kindness and hospitality they showed to me, a mere stranger, still amazes me and reminds me how truly blessed I am.

FOR LOVE, OR MONEY?

That has always been the age old question. I have heard- "It is as easy to fall in love with a Rich man as a Poor one, so why create more worries," "If you hang out at the pound long enough, you are bound to fall in love with a mut," and "Be Smart." To which I have always responded, would never choose one over the other but would be nice...
Well, In Agra, India lies a great monument to the testament of both.
Yes, we have all heard the great love story behind the Taj Mahal but to actually witness the magnificence of the structure in person is absolutely breathtaking!
Arrived in Agra after a 20 hour train ride(they said it would be delayed 5 hours, but the Indian meaning of 'delayed' is being on a train that stops in the middle of nowhere for 7 hours!!!). Was exhausted & dirty but opted to go all out for the occasion and put on my bindi & sari-it was only afterwards when a group of helpful Indian women undressed me in public that I discovered my Sari was inside out & Bindi was upside down. oh well, was worth it.

wish i had some more green paper...

Sitting in a smoke filled internet cafe in St. Nikolas, Greece. Was supposed to take 9am ferry but windy weather conditions = canceled fast boat. So took a 1 1/2 hour bus here and gonna catch a 5 hour ferry to Santorini(instead of the 2 hour one :P. Being in Greece-where everyone is super dressed up-ALL THE TIME has had me wishing for my 'cute clothes; or at least the $ to buy new ones but unfortunately that is not part of my budget-which is already way overspent.
So I am online filling out scholarship applications for FAll semester and just getting generally frustrated with the reality that although I may have intelligence, perseverance, world knowledge, jah jah jah, I am desperately lacking in the resource of green paper. it is so frustrating that I spend all semester, a slave to my books , with little semblance of a social life and althouigh I have managed to maintain my 3.7-while balancing work, school, and the tragedies of last semester, none of that seems to matter much if I cant afford my high price-tagged Ivy league education. Guess Im just tired and bitter. But its all perspective right? I am incredibly blessed and I have faith-for now, we will see how I feel when my Financial aid letter comes- that all will work out as it should.
up till today, the weather was beautiful here in Greece but it is currently matching my mood-gloomy and overcast. But moods and weather forecasts have the ability to change quickly so Im praying for some sunshine :)
Love & miss you all!

Realized its been over 2 weeks since i last updated this blog, due to a variety of reasons but when i write in my journal daily and correspond via email to those that write, i wonder why i do not put more energy into this site. The most honest answer would have to be FEAR. Fear of being misunderstood, of offending those I mention on this blog and those i do not, fear of such an expanded general audience-how truthful and honest should i be about my experinces? most being very personal, guess i just have a general fear of being known completely. Came to the recent realization that my whole life, I have told alot to everyone but not all to anyone. And again a fear of what others will do with information they have about me. Guess I have become comfortable with being ellusive or as my Switzerland friends call me-Casper(yes, like the ghost). Another fitting title as i've been told that peolpe like having me around but I just dont seem to bew so on a consistant basis. So in case, you havn't noticed-doing a lot of self-reflection on this trip. And I have realized how selfish it is of me to not share with you about my trip, i dont have to tell all but at least keep you up-to-date. For afyter all, it is you-my friends and family, those I have met on my journey and those I've yet to meet- that have made this trip possible and worthwhile. For i have always said that despite my wonderful education :), 90% of insights gained have been from the life experiences i have had and people i have met. I am so greatful for my life and the amazing peolpe i have in my life and the ones i am meeting along the way.
Spent Sunday March 30th,in Chandigarh, Punjab-beautiful & wonderful, not at all the crazy hectic India i have experienced(yet still loved) thus far. the day was spent relaxing in the Rose Garden, walking around the very creatively designed Rock Garden and enjoying cycle rickshaw drives through the quiet-no loud traffic, pollution, cattle, etc- tree lined streets as the sun shone on my face. Felt like Anne of Avonlea or a princess being escorted around town. Then late night(starting at 12:30am) was an extremely bumpy 8 hour bus ride up the mountain where the uneven terrain actually lifted me a few feet off my seat-odd though i actually enjoyed it or enjoyed myself in spite of it, either way was worth it as early Monday morning i arrived in Mcloud Gonj in the Himilayas. The views here are breathtaking-my room(although rather noisy and thin walled) faces the mountain. Slept till 12:30 so got a late start but Sunday and up till now have been my best days in India thus far. I cannot even begin to explain the amount of spirituality and healing that is in this place; on the other hand, dont know that i have been in one single place and experienced the level of negative dark energy that is also present here. Its such an odd dichotomy that has nade it difficult to breathe at times and created so much anxiety. Spoke to many individuals-from a female traveler who was drugged here in a local restaraunt in broad daylight in January, to my yoga & reiki teacher, to the countless reports of kidnappings, murders and dissapearnaces that occur here regularly( mostly drug related).Also, as this is the home of the exiled dala lama, it is reported in today's newspaper that an increase in security has been assigned due to an evergrowing # of threats have come against him recently. Odd cause every city I have been in, starting with Malaysia has had a bombing, masss shooting or both on the day i was in that city but yet i still feel very safe and protected but nonetheless, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. My eyes have opened up to so much and i am so blessed to be on this journey!
It is Tuesday night now and I am sad that I spent such little time here-it is always in retrospect- but would really like to come back next May and spend a few months here doing yoga, trekking, attending lectures and volunteering. Had such a wonderful experience here today. After my Reiki class I walked 3km uphill to the Zilnon Kagyeling Nyingma Monastery to attend a lecture by the book author and the Dalai Lama. By the time i got there was 30 minutes late and struggled with being in a small cramped dark room while the sun was shining so brightly and surrrounded by such amazing scenery. decided to opt out on the class and just sit on a bench and read. Was there for less than 3 minutes when my instincts(which have incredibly strengthened on this trip) told me to head downstairs to the larger rooftop. Sat on a makeshift bench of unsanded plywood and no back, just a metal frame. Sat on this bench reading my much anticipated book when a friendly monk appeared and started chatting with me in extremely limited English. After a few minutes I returned to my book and he left. Ten minutes later, this monk, Gyatso, sat down next to me with a writing pad and an English/Tibetan/Sanskrit phrasebook. He asked me to pronounce the first sentence- I did so slowly, word-for- word, "Can you please tell me how to get to the nearest hotel?" I have to say his pronunciation was not bad. He then asked me to say the next line. This went on for 2 1/2 hours!! During this time we were joined by a small older Tibetan woman with very long silvery hair that she combed the whole time while repeating some of the English words, "pillowcase", "bedsheet" and asked me to teach her all the English words for her body parts, then there was the monk who just sat and laughed with us and every once in a while tried his hand at pronouncing a random English word, then a monk who spoke English more fluently than the others came to me with a specific list of words he had written out. While I sat in the sun breaking down English words syllably by syllable and patiently waiting for them to pronounce the words correctly, not at all upset that I was able to read my book I had intended on, I was becoming increasingly greatful that I was able to help these people who had a genuine interest and are actually incredibly quick learners. It was amazing to me Gyatsos ability to recall a whole sentence in a foreign language that he had just learned a few minutes prior, And as he struggled with a few words, like the 4 syllabled "expensive" and then finally mastered it, his triumph bcame my own. It was an incredibly rewarding afternoon and i realize that God had completely answered my daily prayer to the universe to allow me to make a difference and use my gifts to benefit others. Just upset i have to leave tommorow but really looking forward to Greece and my backpacking budddy meeting me there :)
Love & miss ya all

INDIA: You can LOVE it or HATE it, But you can't IGNORE IT

Quick report that i am safe in Varanass,India. I have been blessed with encountering very kind helpful souls that are making me feel more at ease in a country that can have one on sensory overload. So amazing here-despite the horrible pollution, traffic, poverty and general craziness and disorder. Despite all my apprehensions (and those of others) traveling alone is proving to be such a gift. It leaves you more vulnerable but also that much more open to the reward of the journey.

My Crazy German adventure in the Outback

First, I want to apologize for my blogging delay but blame it on a myriad of factors-expense of internet use in Australia, time to download pics, limited use in Malaysia, my horribly slow hunt-n-peck typing "skills" and finally--my perfectionism as I always want to write the perfect, most insightful blog...

Ok, since we last met, I have left New Zealand and zoomed off to Sydney Australia. (oops.... apparently I showed up to the airport a DAY LATE-such a Carolina move but fortunately it was only a $100 mistake.) Suprised by how much I LOVED Sydney!! I feel like it has it all. This place reminds me of California for the beach and chill lifestyle, NY for the city (minus all the crime and dirtiness but PLUS BATS and WATER RATS...eeeekkk). The best part-- the wonderful cosmopolitan city of Sydney is only a 2 hour drive away to the mountains.

I am a mountain baby so decided to take the train for a day getaway to my terrain of origin, in Australia it is the Blue Mountains. Once there I  met a CRAZY Crocodile Dundee like German guy who offered to take me abseiling (propelling down a waterfall). He assured me it was perfectly safe....
perhaps for other people.

 I accepted this adventure  (yes, he was a complete stranger but he reminded me of my oldest brother Johnny AND I have learned to trust my instincts). Unfortunately, I failed to realize that in order to get to and down the waterfall, I had to first go THROUGH it.

It was honestly one of the scariest thing i've EVER done; this coming from a skydiving, rockclimbing, bungee-jumping, bridge & cliff-jumping adrenaline junkie.
Jumping off of rocks into dark, murky, freezing water, it's amazing the thoughts that can pop into one's head at a time like this....

But I made it. Sometimes the only way through the fear is through it.

 The water was Antarctica glacier freezing but I knew that my brothers--fans of repelling off of rocks-- would be so proud. I blame much of my adventure girl spirit on them. Growing up with four brothers I learned that if i wanted to hang out I had to get a little dirty and be fearless (or pretend to be).

After surviving climbing through the dark frigid waters and propelling down the rocks of the waterfall while the water hit me from every angle. I made it to a boulder where one of the guys took my harness off. As my sneakers were not made for these kind of travels, the lack of traction on wet slippery rock had me slipping quickly. I was grabbed and safed by another absailer, less than 2 feet away from falling down the rocks to the bottom another 20+ meters away.

My crazy new friend said that nothing scares him but that seeing me almost fall to my death (or at least a hospilization) really did. But it wouldnt be my story w/out a fall down some rocks, a near-death experience or two and some major war wounds ;)

This actual episode lasted less than an hour but the memories will forever remain and become a pat of me.

Then from mountain madness to Malaysia madness. The people are so incredibly friendly here! My jaded western mentality kept looking for the angle, waiting to get screwed-over but that was never the case for me. Writing this email from the home of a friend from Columbia's aunt & uncle who have been the most wonderful, giving hospitable people-to me-A COMPLETE STRANGER. I have so much gratitude!!! Also makes me realize that I already know so many people like this and have been blessed with such wonderful friends and family!!! Also, Malaysia reminds me so much of Mexico-minus all the street signs in Arabic and the delicacy of Monkey Brains--gruesome details later....

Fly to Delhi, Ieeeeeendia 2nt. Getting scurrrrred-so nervous & anxiety filled.

If you are reading this now & believe in prayers, or even if you don't, please say a few, or more, for me as I will be in India for the next 3 weeks-ALONE.

More later. Miss my friends and family but so grateful for the people I am meeting, connections I'm making, new experiences & insights on this journey. Also, would LOVE emails-as boring or mundane as they may seem to you, nice to remain connected to my friends and fam.
Later, C